Hey guys! Thanks so much for joining me today. I am back on my regular schedule! You know, the main reason I’ve been so absent this year is two reasons:
1. Is confidence. My book did not do well at all and even got some extremely negative reviews on an Advanced Reader Copy review site and it really hurt my creative confidence. It made me question if I have what it takes to be an author. Furthermore, it made me not want to be creative at all!
2. Mental illness made me question the point of everything, I know there’s no shortcut to anything that matters, and I know how super important it is to be consistent on social media every week! But not only was my depression and anxiety making it extremely difficult to wake up and get out of bed each and every morning; it also produced an annoying but ever-present voice in my mind ask: why does this matter?
Deep down I knew I wanted to post, but the couch is so very comfortable and there’s so much to watch on Netflix that I didn’t really stand a chance!
Because I really DO love talking about writing and the creative life! Not only is it super inspiring, but I love helping others feel inspired too! In fact, that’s why I started to begin writing in the first place! I wanted to create inspiring stories that empower the reader! To make the reader feel special. And that’s why I took the negative reviews so hard. I felt like I failed. But there’s more stories to be told! More books to be written!
And I think in my fog of mental illness, I forgot that. So here I am, starting over.
I’m going to try and let go the negative thoughts of others. I’m going to try and let go the pressures and stress that my co-workers and bosses dumped on me. And I’m going to let go of the very strong worry of publishing another failed novel.
I’m going to start over. As a student. I’m going to pretend I’m back in college ten years ago in 2008 and I don’t know anything about writing. It’s time to re-master my craft. From grammar basics, storytelling strategies to character development and plot twists. I’m going to pretend like I’ve forgotten everything I think I know about writing and start anew.
There’s something kind of thrilling about starting over, don’t you think? Because when one let’s go of their bruised ego, maybe that means that anything is possible!
It might be 80 degrees around here and hardly feels like the first week of fall in my shorts and sandals, but mentally at least, I’m ready for it to be fall. I’m ready to start over as if I was starting a new semester in school. So much has changed for me this year, both in health and career, in friendships and changing of interests. I’m not sure if I’m going backward or forwards in my life, but the important thing is to keep moving. As the cheesy saying goes: if nothing is changed then nothing is gained. Or, something like that.
So what about you? What are you going to let go if you could? Share in the comments below, and let’s let go, together!
As always, happy writing!